The Boomerang Children of COVID-19: A Caregiver’s Guide to Living with Adult Children

By Hannah Dailey, ALMFT 

A common goal for many parents and caregivers is teaching children independence in order to prepare them for our culturally valued launch from the proverbial nest. In the age of COVID-19 this launching process has been thwarted for many young adults as they migrate back to their families of origin for various reasons, such as navigating joblessness, conducting virtual learning for higher education, and avoiding densely populated cities to protect against the virus. As a parent or caregiver, this often unexpected transition can feel like a reversion in the parenting process and present unique challenges in developing an adult, parent-child relationship. 

 

What You Need to Know About Your Adult Child 

  • Continuing education increases a young adult’s dependence on parents, both emotionally and often financially

  • Life course transitions, such as the transition from education to employment, employment to joblessness, or the unprecedented changes due to a global pandemic, can be a catalyst for the return home

  • Many “Boomerang Children” report a stifling of personality development upon returning home

  • “Boomerang Children” often struggle to maintain an adult mentality, and have difficulties establishing a mature relationship with their parents or adult caregivers

  • Financial dependence may exacerbate the relationship between parent and child (Burn & Szoeke, 2016)

 

Common Experiences of Parents or Caregivers

  • Out of pocket expenses towards “Boomerang Children” generally have a negative impact on parental satisfaction

  • While there are many concerns to this phenomenon for many parents and caregivers, many report a stifling of loneliness upon the return of their child, better contact upon the child later leaving, and a sense of investing in their child’s future 

  • Former roles of the parent-child dynamic are often reassumed, which may create imbalance and tension. 

  • Many parents and caregivers experiencing this phenomenon report dissatisfaction with the lack of privacy cohabitation creates.  (Burn & Szoeke, 2016; de Jong Gieryeld et al., 2012)

Positive Plan of Action 

  1. Open dialogue and a renegotiation of both parent and child roles are vital to a successful co-residence experience (White & Rogers, 1997)

  2. A positive, flexible discussion of the future is crucial for hope and expectancy (Jong, Dykstra & Schenk, 2012)

  3. Boundaries must be discussed and maintained in order to facilitate a continued growth of the adult child and the parent-child relationship

  4. “Boomerang Children” may benefit from practices of Loving-Kindness Meditation as this manages their own internal distress associated with issues adjusting to their new context (Kirby & Laczko, 2017)

Natalie Underway